When the What-ifs of Stuckdom hold more of our imaginative power than our Frontier of New Possibilities, how can we possibly move forward?Read More
Being an entrepreneur is a constant "face-in-the-mirror" experience.
It is seeing it all in front of you, from the zits to the circles to the streaks of gray.
It is also recognizing the glow of energy brought on by claiming imagination.Read More
Gratitude. You have heard it before--it’s important, even helpful. Perhaps, you have even felt it-the warm rush after doing a kind act or sharing a kind word with a friend or even a stranger. But, fuel?!? And, if it’s fuel, can it add value to not only one's personal life, but one's professional life as well?
Gratitude is a place of readiness. An active state that supports us like ripe fruit in a hungry belly. Hunger is not compartmentalized to a specific aspect of one’s life. In fact, it affects every aspect-personal and professional.Read More
The crazy thing about our thoughts and “desire” is that, for many of us, they both seem to work against us – especially when it comes to our career. There are many voices out there that speak about actually NOT following your desire. There are others that celebrate embracing your desire. Each has interesting and valid cases. Yet, at the end of the day, we are still left with the thoughts in our head that nag, holding a more personal argument and leveraging all of the pain points inside.
Let’s try to tease out the players.
Our thoughts come from many different directions, but when they stream from fear, we can most assuredly claim our Lizard Brain is rearing up loudly. You know, that protective brain space that is keeping you alive in the jungle- oops, I mean, the comfort of your own home. Oh, yeah, we are in the 21st Century and generally don’t live in imminent danger!
Yet, thoughts invade our sleeping hours only to wake us up to heave on the fears of an upcoming meeting with the boss, playing it out over and over in our head at 2 AM. Or, perhaps it’s the upcoming layoffs entering the mind at 3 AM. A thought about “not being good enough” or other such thoughts weave throughout every neural passage way they can take you…especially the ones that have become highways dug deeper and deeper, used again and again when you feel stressed and vulnerable. I have a couple of those highways ground down quite nicely!
What about desire? In light of the shadow thoughts at 2 and 3 am, the concept of desire can simply seem, well, ridiculous. Who follows desire, when they are not even sure they can make it though the next meeting or week in a tumulus environment of oncoming layoffs?!?
And yet. It is Desire that will give you the key to your next adventure.
But not when your Lizard Brain is leading the charge. Your lizard has thrown a fabulous party on your dime and left a huge mess to clean up. Hearing the possibilities that may exist are next to impossible when there is garbage thrown about. So, let’s begin there!
Name the thoughts scattered about. If you are having trouble identifying them during the bright and sunny daylight, put yourself back in the imaginary 2am world. Consider each thought like a different highway crisscrossing your city. Unfortunately, they don’t take you anywhere. Put them on a sheet of paper and label them. My first thought highway was…“I’m not good enough…”. Go ahead, list your top ones.
Observe. How often are the thoughts coming? When you step back, when do you REALLY find these thoughts coming up for you? My hunch is that they are very loud when you are in some type of transition or challenging situation. Perhaps your comfort zone is being pushed in some way.
Name a thoughts’ opposite. I know crazy right?!? This serves two purposes. First, affirmation has power. Just as much as a negative thought does. The power comes in its “belief”, not that it holds fact. But, affirmations help give you permission. This process begins creating hope and safety. Second, give yourself permission to find three concrete examples of why the affirmation holds truth for you. Do it! Hang with it! You may just find the force field you have methodically placed around the initial limiting thought beginning to crack.
As you pursue the clean up of your Lizard’s After Party, so too, do you begin to give yourself space to find your key that had been hidden from view for your door named Desire. Let this be what it is – Your Beginning!
You have nothing to loose and everything to gain!
Think back to when you were a kid and wanting something was easy. Even if it feels like for only a brief moment. You wanted something and you went for it. Perhaps it was a home run, qualifying for a certain team, getting a solo or a part in a play. Sometimes we got it. And, sometimes we didn't. The first was always a lot easier than the second...at least for me.
The first allowed me to take it as a step forward such as making a Zone team. And, the second quickly became a reason why I couldn't move forward, such as not making the cut for Senior Nationals. The weight lay far heavier on the side of the later. Ultimately, I found success in making Olympic Trials in a moment of stillness in movement. But, constant battles were being waged inside by fear and a litany of "why-I-wouldn't-be-able-to-find-my-success" limiting my joy.
Our interpretation of failure becomes part of our internal recipe for not getting hurt. That recipe is entitled Desirelessness. By smashing down our desires, we believe that we will be inoculated from the pain. What we don't realize is that our very desires are crucial to our happiness.
And where does this take us as adults? Letting success be defined by others. Allowing differing opinions to become reasons for political battles in the office. Not risking ideas in public. Holding back from making connections with others. And many more. Before long, we've lost track of what motivates us, what excites us. The question of "What do I want?" becomes something close to "What could cause me the most pain?"
And yet. It is in the name of our desires that we ignite our engine toward creativity, toward imagination, toward courage, toward risk taking. Desire becomes the key to unlock the door on the journey toward your possibilities. That is your DNA wiring of your soul. There is the connection between the logistics of a day and the passion to do it.
So how do we move into Desire?
Give yourself permission to want. Add just a little stillness to see what comes up. Then, give it space to tell its story. Where might this new recipe take you? Let it be written with the ink of no rules and the paper that dreams are made on. Let the child from your early days do the stirring. Ultimately, begin to claim your fun. And, even your life. The possibilities are endless!